Big Dog Has Cancer

I am crying as I write this. No matter if she bit you or growled at you she has been a good dog. She has protected those she loves. I am talking about Duchess. She has bone cancer. Amputation isn't really an option because of her size and age. Chemo costs thousands of dollars. She is on medicine that seems to be keeping her comfortable and she still wags her tail so we will leave it at that till something changes. Then she will join the other animals wagging tails as they wait for us. I believe there are animals in heaven.
I had to remember other animals who have meant so much to me. My first memory is of Sammy, the Siamese cat we had in Japan. I have spent all my life trying to find cats to measure up to her even though I have such vague memories. The dog I remember most from my youth was Velvet, Mom's best friend for a number of years. We got her to replace a dog Mom had when Dad was in Vietnam. Isn't it funny how we get animals trying to replace holes left in our hearts.
That is why we got Duchess. For years Dave has tried to replace the first Duchess, a black mutt I don't even remember where we got. She would run away exploring and the only way to get her home was to drive around in the car calling for her. She would come running and jump in the car for the ride home. All the others since have loved riding in cars. First we got Mia, a Keeshund. The milk delivery guy at the minimart where I worked gave her to us. She bonded with me. One of the saddest days of my life was when I took her to the animal shelter and told them I couldn't keep her anymore. She kept me company during the day. She ate at one knee and Matt ate at the other when he learned to stand. She developed hip trouble and started nipping at Matt. We had to get rid of one or the other. I cried and told her how I loved her. I hope maybe she got a good home. (I don't have any proof they put her down, Jennifer)
Then we got Princess, a lab, when we got back from Penn. We got her from Donald's cousin. She drove me crazy rubbing along the wall a leaving a dirt border. She lived a great life in Fla and enjoyed Ga till her time came. Donald and Ryan took her on her last ride. I will always be grateful to Ryan for helping Donald with that.
Then there are the cats. Tia, who came to us through two little girls ringing the doorbell and asking "Can you take my cat? We can't keep her anymore." She was a siamese. I'll never forget the time we were sitting in the living room and she came flying off the roof outside. She was lost for two weeks in Ga at one time. She finally used her last life when she was hit by a car. Jen had to handle that by herself because I was out of town.
Finally, there was Kitty. We got her with the house. She was my companion when I was pregnant with Timothy. Don't you think animals know sometimes when you just need them near? She stayed indoors until we got the dogs and then she decided to live outside. She would visit Granddaddy alot. One day Donald found her laying by the fence in the yard. He said she had no damage so we aren't sure what happened.
There have been others; Bob the cat, the kitten lost on the way to New Jersey, Cotton the dog; I am sure each of you have a list. Each time we say we are not getting another animal. I bet we will, but not to replace the ones we lost. We just need another one to love us without asking for anything in return except a little food and a little pat on the head.

Reunion

The party at our house started Saturday with the arrival of the out of town children. The wii guitar hero was immediately set up and the loud noises started. David and Matthew entertained themselves by planting "Grandaddy" stickers all over town. Sarah and Travis, don't worry, I have you covered and will explain when we see you. We know you had another family to celebrate this weekend. The Saturday night swimming, horseshoe,billiards, cookout party had about sixty-five in attendance. After going to Dairy Queen, my bunch came back to the house. Jen and James went home to sleep but the rest turned on the games again until almost one o'clock. Sunday lunch was fabulous as always. I went off and left the fruit salad I had made just for Paula in the refrigerator. It seems no matter how many dishes I wash before I leave, I always have a sinkfull when I come home. I am blessed with Carol's leftovers; everyone loved the dreamscicle cake, but that means I get to wash out her pans also. The party continued once again with the wii bowling, etc. until Eileen told Dave it was time to go. Eileen and I have yet to figure out how to truly enjoy reunion weekend without having to be the "adult". We did get some great family pics. Jen has posted some. Rumor has it Helen and Ryan are in charge of next years festivities so any suggestions can be sent to them. Lunch at 12:00; all in favor say aye. Sound system for the emcee would be great. Could the weather have been any more perfect!!

When I grow up

I guess everyone has read Aunt Carol's post. Here is my response. I, like Vickie, wanted to be a mommy. I have accomplished that. I wanted to be an entertainer in the USO groups but since I have no talent in that area, I don't think that will happen. I can be very be entertaining while listening to my playlist and dancing around the room when no one is looking. Wait, I guess from the comments and expressions on your faces, I am pretty entertaining when I indulge myself even if someone is watching. My samba roll is getting quite good from watching "Dancing with the Stars". I thought I wanted to give a home to all the unwanted animals. I may still be able to do that one if I get the human animals taken care of. I've realized I can't do both. I always wanted to take horseback riding lessons. For ten years I have lived across the street from a stable. The paper was advertising lessons over there so who knows, this may be the summer I do that. I too wanted to be a teacher until I started substitute teaching and saw all the rules teachers and students have to obey. I guess my years at the Agrirama fulfilled that dream. It sure was fun while it lasted!

Every Day is Mother's Day

That was the name of a tv show back in the 80's or early 90's. It was hosted by Joan Lunden, the Katie Couric of her day. She was a supermom and had it all and did it all so it seemed.Everyone wanted to be her. That is why I intensely dislike Mother's Day. For every mom out there who is perfect and everyone knows it, there are hundreds just struggling to make it a few more hours. I heard that when we speak in church,bear testimony, or teach in meetings, we should never say how grateful we are of our children's achievements; mission, temple marriage, etc. It isn't the place. It doesn't edify or teach anyone. I've thought a lot about that concept and agree. There is a time and place for expressing those sentiments.
I am lucky to have been able to bear children. I loved being pregnant and feeling them inside of me. Let's be honest, though, once they were born I could have done a better job. I am not comparing myself to others, I am saying I had it in me to do better and for whatever reason didn't. I had my good moments. I have always had good homemade treats available. I know the boys love their honeybuns but they like my cinnamon buns also. Except for Jed, of course.
No matter how I did, I have some great children. Jennifer loves books and and the fine arts and makes sure her girls get to the library like I did with her. Dave excels in survival skills including driving in big city traffic. Helen can get down and dirty digging in the dirt to plant vegetables. That is very exciting to Grandaddy and myself. Matthew is tenderhearted and deeply loyal to his friends. Jed was born an old man and wise beyond his years. It doesn't matter how anyone else views my children to me they are my most wonderful gifts from God.

Looking for Matthew

I realized I talk a lot about Jed but haven't mentioned Matthew. Most of you know he is trying to "find himself" at the moment. Donald and I both tried to kick him out this week but it didn't work. We welcome all advice on the subject, just don't get offended if we don't take it. He does have a second interview at Starbuck's on Monday so everyone pray for him. I think getting a job that gives structure to his life will help his situation. For those who have met her, Beenish is back in the picture. She seems to be a good influence on him. He always goes into a cleaning frenzy when she is going to show up. I can talk about him on this blog and say what I want pretty much. I asked if he had read any of them this morning and he said no. I am trying to look at the big picture with him and not compare him with what my other children had going on at this stage in their lives. I think that is one of the big mistakes people make. Comparing themselves to other mothers, fathers, workers, etc. is not the way it should be. How boring life would be if we were all the same. One thing that can be said about Matthew is that life has never been boring around him. Not to fall into the trap I mentioned above, did anyone see the Donny Osmond interview where he talked about his mother. She died Mother's Day four years ago. He said at her memorial service one of the older brothers told everyone he always knew he was the favorite. Everyone else started laughing and he said, no really. When they laughed again he said that was what was wonderful because she made each of her children feel that way. Shall I do a post saying what is wonderful and special about each of my children or shall we just wait and see how the grandchildren turn out. They say that is the true measure of how good a job a parent truly did.
I made a video for Matt while he was wrestling. I was playing around with the media movie maker one night. I had to use the most of whatever pictures I had and it just happened to be wrestling ones at that time. I will try and do another with family pictures I have now that we all have cameras. It will be a summer project.